Big Trouble in Little China

Long overdue post of one of my favorite and most underrated cult films of the entire 80’s and in my opinion, Kurt Russel’s best movie.  This movie has everything!

Kurt Russell as Jack Burton; the wise-cracking idiot truck driver channeling his best John Wayne impersonation.
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Kim Cattrall as Gracie Law; San Francisco’s resident pain in the ass lawyer.
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Dennis Dun as Wang Chi; Jack’s bud and martial arts expert.

James Hong as David Lo Pan.  A 2000-year-old sorcerer.

Victor Wong as Egg Shen; a black magic wielding tour bus driver.

 Last but not least are of course the 3 storms!

     Now, what’s so special about this movie besides everything?  Well it has without a doubt some of the best quotes ever.  Every line delivered perfectly by Russell.

Jack Burton: When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.”

Jack Burton: You know what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like this?
Thunder: Who?
Jack Burton: Jack Burton. *Me*! 

Jack Burton: Like I told my last wife, I says, “Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.” 

Jack Burton: Everybody relax, I’m here. 

Jack Burton: This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang. 

Jack Burton: Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine, because I can’t concentrate when you do that. 

Jack Burton: Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we’re not back by dawn… call the president. 

Jack Burton: Just remember what ol’ Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol’ storm right square in the eye and he says, “Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.” 

Jack Burton: All I know is, this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with *light* coming out of his mouth! 

Jack Burton: What’s in the flask, Egg? Magic potion?
Egg Shen: Yeah.
Jack Burton: Thought so, good. What do we do, drink it?
Egg Shen: Yeah!
Jack Burton: Good! Thought so. 

Jack Burton: [pointing to Chinese writing on elevator] What does that say?
Wang Chi: [speaks Chinese] Hell of Boiling Oil.
Jack Burton: You’re kidding.
Wang Chi: Yeah, I am. It says Keep Out. 

Jack Burton: You can go off and rule the universe from beyond the grave.
Lo Pan: Indeed!
Jack Burton: Or check into a psycho ward, which ever comes first, huh? 

Jack Burton: Son of a bitch must pay! 

Jack Burton: I’m gonna tell you about an accident, and I don’t wanna hear “act of God”! 

Jack Burton: What does that mean? Huh? “China is here.” I don’t even know what the hell that means. 

Egg Shen: Can see things no one else can see. Do things no one else can do.
Jack Burton: Real things?
Egg Shen: As real as Lo Pan!
Jack Burton: Hey, what more can a guy ask for?
Egg Shen: Oh, the six-demon bag!
Jack Burton: Terrific, a six-demon bag. Sensational. What’s in it, Egg?
Egg Shen: Wind, fire, all that kind of thing!